It is amazing how we all seem to take Life for granted. Although I am well aware of Death and have experienced so many in the past year or two, it is something I cannot seem to get used to! My Beloved friend Alan passed away last Aug 20th and after that, 3 other deaths of my beloved friends took place. Tomorrow, I have a funeral to attend once again and I am overwhelmed with grief!
Since the beginning of this year, I have had 5 death news which are enough to depress me to the max!
I know that Death is a part of Life and that we begin to die, the moment we are born!
I get saddened by how some live their lives without the thought of appreciating that God had given them LIFE. Life is not easy, Life is full of surprises and Life is meant to have a Purpose!
I believe that we need to Help others as much as we can with the Talents and Gifts that God endowed us with!
Why is it so tough for many NOT to be greedy? What good will you do with so much money and fame when you have no one to share it with, that you really care about and who cares about you?
YES…Money can buy everything! Temporal Health, Friends, Beauty and even Love.
Do Remember that we only have a certain amount of time allotted to us to be Alive.
WHAT WE WILL DO WITH THAT TIME CALLED ‘LIFE’ WILL DEPEND ON THE TRUE NATURE THAT WE HAVE SPIRITUALLY. Money and Beauty is but a vapor!
We should strive to make a positive difference in other people’s lives, even if they are a stranger!
NEVER TAKE IT FOR GRANTED, THAT YOU WILL SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN AFTER YOU BID THEM GOOD BYE, SO PLEASE TAKE THE TIME AND TELL THE ONES YOU CARE ABOUT THAT YOU LOVE THEM…
You might Not get another chance!
Most people close to me with the exception of my Mother and Andrew, often wonder how I am able to Forgive the many offenses some individuals have inflicted on me.
I Forgive not for the offenders but for me. If I do not, then Hatred can develop!
A friend told me once, that if I ever get so mad at someone, the best way not to hate, is to do something nice for that person…
You know something? It works!
There will always be people who will do things to hurt us either on purpose or unintentionally.
That is just how life goes!
It is up to Us to set them straight with words of wisdom and to follow it with Forgiveness.
Why should we Forgive? To Free ourselves from the wretched feelings of Hatred and Resentment.
Forgiveness allows us to Free our Minds from horrific thoughts of vengeance or remorse.
Forgiveness allows us to eradicate any Guilt, Shame and Fear.
Easier said than done! Forgiveness does not mean we must condone the offence.
The Offender must be held accountable, but no one has the right to Judge…
Only The Almighty GOD has that Right!
We need to remember that each one of Us have done things to hurt others too.
None of us can claim Perfection!
Those who know no SIN and have never done any wrong may cast the first stone!
Think about it… Replace the Anger with Forgiveness and Love will win EVERY TIME!
Acceptance is usually attached to something that may sound unpleasant.
I have heard the word used as a source of Encouragement due to undesired results from certain mistakes.
Example: “The quicker you accept the betrayal, the faster you will heal” and “The acceptance of error will quicken the acquisition of wisdom”.
I personally Embrace acceptance very much in the way I just described.
Having said that, I also see acceptance in the sense that there is nothing wrong in receiving back when you have given your best.
Accepting that you were born with a Purpose is sometimes difficult to do.
Once you accept that notion, you are made aware that you are now accountable…
Being accountable means being Responsible.
Being Responsible means having the Acceptance to be Accountable.
Think about it!
Why is everybody against it? Actually I think they are afraid of it!
I understand that it is not comfortable, but if one believes he or she is in the right, then it is the right thing to do!
Are you content to live in a lie, in order to pacify and not rock the boat? If so, all I can say is too bad for you!
To me, that spells ‘Gutless’. I am not talking about scenes in public like most morons like to exhibit!
I am talking about speaking with facts and a good mind.
I have let many get away with a lot of crap in my life, but they only get three passes and the third time is not a pass! The third time serves as the final warning and honorable stripes are removed.
The way I see it, the first time you screw up and it hurts me, it is understandable because you may have not known.
The second time you do something, it is still excusable because I may have not made myself clear the first time….
Now… The third time you do me wrong?
You Pay! Why? Because you are either stupid or you think I am stupid. Either way, it makes you a liability to me!
I am into ‘Damage Prevention’. I do not like to live in pink clouds and I certainly do not deny the truth, weather it hurts or not!
So wake up, smell the coffee and for crying out loud… DRINK IT!
Drink the whole pot, while you are at it!
I confront people all the time…
I do it with a loving way, but only the first two times!
Until this day, no one has had any reasons to confront me based on being stupid or inconsiderate. I make sure to be accountable, considerate and straight up. It is not that difficult to do. It is called common sense.
You will always know what I do not like…
If you are smart enough, it will be easy to figure out what I do like based on what I do not like.
Does that make sense to you? (Common sense)
Is it not ‘Logical’ or must I spend countless hours explaining why I have a headache, from having to deal with the annoyance of your presence?
I do not ask for much. All I am asking for is that you do not exasperate me, until you get hurt by my words. That is correct…
Anyone that has ever gotten their ass chewed out by me, deserved it.
Keeping it real… The ones I chewed up were lucky to have gotten away with the mistakes they have made, that put me in jeopardy or in pain.
I do not take kindly to others that I see demonstrate such actions to their so called friends, family or relationships. It is wrong to continue making the same mistakes over and over again.
It is foolish and inconsiderate to take people, things and life for granted!
Remember, if you want to confront someone…
Do it with love and clear words as soon as you can.
Do not ‘Nag’, but do not ‘Wait’, set the record straight!
If they abandon you, great! That is one less irritation you will have to deal with. Why should you have to pay for their perpetual stupidity?
I can never fault anyone for stepping on my foot, if I did not tell them “Hey, you just stepped on my foot!” I also cannot fault them if I continue to put my foot under theirs…
Are you getting any of this, or would you like to confront me on what I just talked about?
This is not directed to anyone in particular, but
I am betting that many will ask themselves if they were an inspiration to my mind while writing this.
Just so we are all clear? If you had that question resonating in your ear, then the answer is “YES”.
If you felt a sting, then you obviously were one of the many that felt it was alright to do what you had done.
Are you going to drink that coffee after all or stay asleep until one of us dies?
If you read the first part of this Blog, I mentioned that there was an antidote to ‘Loneliness’…
There are a few things one can do to battle this in a constructive way.
I write from experience and it is only my opinion, so if you do not agree, then we can agree to disagree.
I am not here to be your counselor.
I am merely trying to pass on something that could help you understand some things in a different way.
I had mentioned that I never knew loneliness until the day I met that Special Someone who showed me that my way of dealing with things were special indeed.
He showed me that I was not the only one who had the standards that I did, who most people could never meet in ten lifetimes. It felt great to have someone know me without doubts.
Prior to this, I lived my life joyfully doing many things on my own like travelling and being creative.
I was a home body and never cared to meet men or have a boyfriend. They were too much trouble to deal with! The jealousy and insecurities were not worth the so called Sex! LOL:)
In my world, if I had to be drunk in order to feel good then it was a false reality!
I have been told stories of where my friends have woken up with the opposite sex during a supposedly wild and passionate night of sex… But when asked, “so how was it and why was it so good?”, their answers were always the same: “I was really drunk, so I don’t remember much of it!”
Well, holy macaroni shit! If you cannot remember then I certainly do not believe it was that great and what is the point of doing such things when you won’t remember it the next day anyway?
This made me somewhat of an outcast in a way. I had no problem with that as I was not the type who needed sex or attention to gratify my time.
One of my so called antidotes to this, was being creative with whatever was constructive and something that could one day make a difference in my life and in others. I made a mental list of the endless possibilities I had in accordance to the talents I had. I used positive mental Projections and took emotions out of the equation.
I made my home, a home that I wanted to dwell and relax in! A place I could be proud of.
It did not matter where I went, I decorated and made it a homely environment. I would go on trips equipped with different scarves, that I could drape over lampshades and candles to add ambiance along with my favorite music.
I loved the sense of ‘Being Alone’.
To me, it was freedom! Freedom to do what I wished and to think in silence or out loud.
I would do a Dress-up night where a limo would pick me up and take me to a fancy restaurant to dine alone. I would book a table for two and pretend to get stood up by my date and chuckle inside as I watch the rest of the people at the restaurant judge me! LOL:)
Yes, it sounds strange and a bit wacky but I always found a way to entertain myself, all on my own!
Loneliness and Boredom only happens when you are bored with yourself!
Heck, I used to spend hours putting on make up. I would apply then take it off and repeat until I could come up with something more creative than the usual!
I also would clean and organize my closets and paperwork. Shine all the chrome around the bathroom and kitchen etc.
Do you get what I am getting at? Staying busy, constructive and creative are good ways to never get Lonely!
Then there is television, which I was not fond of. I felt it made my brain lazy, so instead of that, I took up reading, working out and learning how to play musical instruments.
There are so many things one can do to beat Loneliness.
As the title states, “Loneliness and how it can destroy even the Strongest of the strong”… is so very true!
A loss of a loved one or of a pet can do that to the best of us!
I know because that happened to me when my dog Maza was killed with my two cats.
I wanted to die!
Actually, I am sure I would have if that Special person I told you about was not there to remind me, that if I believed, the best is yet to come.
The Loneliness I felt from losing my Daddy to losing my 3 pets were more than I can bear!
I had to Focus and Remember how loneliness worked in people’s lives!
It is Sneaky!
My suggestion to you if you are going through Loneliness now, is to Focus on the Joy you remember best!
Use the Past!
Use the happy moments even if they might bring tears. Bleed every ounce of that Loneliness out by spending some time figuring out why and what it is that triggers that emotion out of you!
Yes, money helps get rid of loneliness for a bit, but at the end of the day…
You are still You and Loneliness is still your shadow, if you do not defeat it.
I could go on and on about this subject but I am not writing a Self-help book here. I am merely sharing myself and my thoughts with you.
Until next time…